The "Five days in" List

1. Thought good was gonna happen day 1!!!

2. Why can't I have what I want....

3. at least some of the time!

4. I know I know...Not my will....

5. I woke up feeling mighty low....

6. tried calling Mom like three times

7. She was sleep on doubt...

8. I hate my current situation with a passion!

9. Lord I'M READY!

10. I will pray everyday that this curse is finally lifted!!!!

11. Whoever put this curse of my life, but gear up! Cuz, I'm locked load and hunting yo Muther !@#$%^&&* down!

12. I am so serious right now!

13. side-note: she changes when we are around other people...

14. I wonder does she even notice it

15. Others do....

16. I want my old life back...minus the mice and hard knocks of course!

17. I had my own place...my own bathroom...my own bed....

18. Sigh....

19. what I was supposed to learn, I don't even think I did...

20. Damn.....smh....

The "Day After VDay" List

1. Let's talk about Sex, has been in my head all week for some reason.
2. She hit it right on the head boy! i will tell you that much.
3. I wonder what she was thinking when she found out the truth?
4. Probably the same ish I was thinking...
5. WTFrench Toast!
6. I am in love with a younger man.....
7. Way younger....
8. I think he is like 21...too young for me, but a girl can dream
9. i wonder does he know, or does he feel it too?
10. Good question shidd...
11. I think ima plan a trip to NYC this Spring.
12. I gotta see the Guggenheim!
13. I LOVE Art. Anything visual...
14. I'm a Virgo for crying out loud!
15. Did she just look down my blouse...?
16. Yes hunny, I know they are mammoth!
17.I like that word...Mammoth
18. ......and Gargantuan..
19. Did I spell that right?
20. Who cares.......
21. I think he is making some ish up.
22. But since i have no proof, Ima see come March
23. I miss my old place sometimes...
24. Not the ish that was falling part, but the fact that it was mine!
25. I have a lot on my plate this week
26. I need Prayer to make it through and by my deadlines....
27. She was sick today.
28. She might be leaving her man.
29. Why do I feel hungry all of a sudden
30. She asked about my pictures....
31. Should have been asking who took them...
32. I need my nails done severely!
33. I got in trouble today...
34. I might need to give LW a call this week and see if he can pencil me in...
35. That oughta make him smile...
36. Why is SBC calling and texting me?
37. Where's ur wife boo? Where's ur wife!
38. Saturday Night Fever
39. .....so identify!
40. She just wanted some real love....
41. I have a crush on Henry Cavill
42. Friends call him "Hank" I'll call ur "Big Daddy" if you want me too...lol
43. He probably feels like John Mayer....
44. LMBO!
45. John Mayer know he likes dark meat!
46. He needs to stop playing shidd!
47. Noah and Taj come home tomorrow...
48. Taj got me something....I hope it's shoes!
49. Ima sucka for a pair of Manolo Blahniks!
50. Til Morrow Ya'll!

The, Is That All "List"

1. They say it's 5 stages to this Grief....

2. 1/2. Denial and Isolation...can't isolate myself in this hse. And I am mosdefntly not in denial...how you do me, it what u think of me.

3. 3. Anger. I'm already angry, so I guess I get a two for one deal on grief then...lol!

4. 4. Bargaining. I will not be giving a "benefit of the doubt"! That's out of the question.

5. 5. Depression. I refuse to even get to this step so.....moving on to 5. Acceptance. It is what it is. There, Grief over. Amen we're done.

Time to GROW UP and MOVE ON!

Reason for this "List" I'm Done....

The Heartbreak Warfare "List"

1. I thought I was good enough...

2. Why her?!!!!!!!!!!

3. Damn this pain is the worst!

4. I feel like I am about to die...

5. I just want the pain to go away.

6. ...and when it does, I am so done.

7. This time I mean it.

8. Everyone was right....I just hoped for something different...

9. ...every single time.

10. He really does not deserve a woman like me.

11. At least could have acted like he did.

12. I don't even want to date anymore....

13. ...or be married

14. F**k watching what I say!

15. I wish I never met him!!!!!

16. Will someone please build a f**king Time Machine, Please!

17. I want to go back in time...

18. Do some ish over, never reveal my heart strings.

19. I am finally owning up to my roll in it all...

20. These wounds are in my way...

21. Love is a dreadful bond.

22. Just wanna be free.........

The "fun sun parks and purses" List

1. My breast are way too big!

2. I need not wear yellow ever again...

3. And I still got stung in the foot after all that...

4. It hurt like crap to!

5. I had a really wonderful time today...

6. Which has been rare lately...

7. I text him 2x, he said he didn't get them...

8. why does that bother me so much.

9. Vanessa is such a Sweet heart for caring about me...

10. He asked was I uncomfortable...HELL no!

11. Men can be such dootie heads...

12. She seemed really cool today, that's good.

13. He called me and then let me go...then I called back and he didn't answer...then he text me and I said nothing...I'm so confused rt now.

14. Did I tell you I hung out with some WWE superstars Monday night...

15. Well I did.

16. Stop talking about random stuff dude. Tell me what's really going on.

17. Those purses were fabulous!

18. And I couldn't afford even one.

19. Not even a wallet.

20. This has to end soon.

21. I'm trying to hang in there.

22. Times like this make me sad though.

23. They were there together, bothered me a tiny little bit. But I am a big girl.

24. Talking with Ju really warmed my heart. He is going ALL the way! I'm glad I know him!

25. I'm just about sick of these flipping butterflies in my stomach...

The "Big Ego" List

1. "Oh baby, how you doing?
You know I'm gonna cut right to the chase
Some women were made but me, myself
I like to think that I was created for a special purpose
You know, what's more special than you? You feel me"

2. 15 more days to Fabulosity!

3. I am sill up hoping Iwill get another phone or text.

4. This gone be a quick 10 I think.

5. I drank too much water before bed.

6. I love that new song from Busta ft. Mike Epps

7. Noah slept all dang day ya'll!!!

8. He needs his tail whooped for that, Although he is the boss!

9. Have you ever told someone off and meant every single word? I did for the first time to day..and that ish felt good.
I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely"
10. Yep that was one thought. "

The Burning up 290 "List"

1. Can't believe I am so naive.

2. And to think I wanted to have his baby some day.

3. could a person really be next to you and be next to you?

4. She IM me something i wrong. I feel it.

5. She works my nerves so bad it upsets my stomach.

6. That can't be good...rt?

7. I abv every word I type almost.

8. It' cold in here, but I am not touching that window.

9. Hiya rt back Baby cakes!

10. Missed that phone call completely...

11. I didn't see that coming @seasons hospice.

12. I was willing to throw in the towel I truly was.

13. I know he thought about sleeping with her...she was pretty.

14. Do I have to scream it at the top of my lungs!

15. I do feel like "her" at times.

16. Esplly when I do dumb stuff like what I did this morning.

17. It's 1:45 in the am and I don't want to be alone anymore.

18. I got used to seeing his face that's what it was.

19. Fart! I left those Cd's in the car again...

20. I'm done.